


Through a Mother's Eyes

by aunnoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person, Slice of Life, a little bit angst, mention of homophobic, mostly just my precious boys being precious, they deserve happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:46:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aunnoo/pseuds/aunnoo
Summary: You might've only given birth to one, but you get to watch two grow. They are your boys.(If there's anything you'd wish upon them, it'd be happiness.)





	

You love your boy so much.

From the moment you know you have him, the moment you learn it’s a he and can’t stop buying tiny shoes and clothes for him even though the bump isn’t prominently showing.

You don’t know you could love him even more till you hold him for the first time, arms heavy and body exhausted but heart so full of contentment.

You cry as you hug him closer and he cries, too, loud and _healthy,_ and it’s all that matters.

You vow then, vow to always love him, protect him, and nothing’s going to change that.

\-------

You name him _Hajime_. Iwaizumi Hajime.

The new beginning of your life and the best gift you can ever wish to be blessed upon you.

\-------

It’s a journey of worrying before you know it.

When he can do nothing but wiggle in his crib, you worry if he got cold or hungry.

When he learn to crawl, then walk, you worry if he’d get hurt bumping into things in his path or trips over his feet.

You see how he struggles to make friends and start finding him in bushes or under a tree, catching bugs, making sketches and releasing them before sunset.

You ask him why he never keeps them.

“ _They don’t seem happy in the jar,_ ” he tells you.

You go bug hunting with him that weekend to collect caterpillars. You are not as brave as your boy so you let him handle the bugs while you collect the leaves. You contribute the jars you meant for flowers and he puts in the caterpillars and leaves before placing them along the windowsill.

(He’s still too small to reach the windowsill so this time you contribute a stool.)

You never forget the day you come home from the supermarket and see all the jars empty. Your boy looks a little guilty but exciting, smiling so wide you can see the gap of his missing front tooth. He tells you how the butterflies have gotten out the cocoons and shows you the drawing he did. He says sorry for not waiting for you to release the butterflies before he presents you a jar, brimming with poorly arranged flowers from your garden.

“ _So the butterflies will come visit again._ ”

You feel so proud (and worried again) of how kind your boy is. You cook him fried tofu that night and let him get away with the untouched tomato in his plate.

  
\-------

Your boy makes a new friend, the new boy moving in next door. His name’s Tooru. Oikawa Tooru.

Tooru-kun is a smart child. Sweet and energetic.

Your morning starts beginning with a bright greeting from Tooru-kun from the threshold or a hurried announcement of Hajime saying he's going next door or to the park with Tooru.

They are always together, one tagging along the other. And you smile fondly when you see Hajime becomes comfortable of dragging Tooru-kun for a game of his or going bug hunting which the other kids have refused to participate in.

(Your smile turns fonder when you see the reluctant yet curious look on Tooru-kun’s face, features scrunching up together as Hajime coaxes him to hold a beetle and yet he always tries.)

Before long, it's no longer Tooru-kun and your boy. They are _your boys._

You know both boys’ favorites, let it be foods, movies, the stickers they collect from the convenient stores or even the cards of their favorite card game.

You know while Hajime takes time to wake up in the morning, Tooru would be ready and chirpy at the front door. He helps you with breakfast sometime when he's extra early and you teach him how to make the miso soup just how Hajime likes it.

It's a little secret between you and Tooru but you feel like Hajime has always known.

  
\-------

  
They start playing volleyball and it's like watching them growing up again.

They explore. They have fun. And they fall.

They become frustrated.

You want to help but your son step in before you can.

You ask nothing when you see your boys walking in that night, elbows nudging, a small bump on Hajime's forehead and a faint smudge of wiped blood below Tooru's nostril.

You tell Tooru to stay a bit longer and hand him a pack of wet tissue and a cooling pad.

You heat up the stewed potatoes and watch your boys devour them while they do ‘their thing,’ Hajime kicking Tooru under the table for stealing his food and Tooru leaning all over Hajime before taking another bit within reach.

You laugh because they laugh. And you know it’d be alright as you take in the tiny doodle of spaceship on the cooling pad now resting on your boy’s forehead.

  
\-------

In no time they are already in high school and their height becomes that distinct change.

You see how they’ve grown tall and strong because of their sports, how their features have matured, a bit childish still but a hint of the fine young men they are turning into.

They’ve grown so fast sometimes you wonder when you’ve stopped being able to hug them like before, when you could look in their eyes, ruffle their hair, and wrap them in one hug just to show them you love them.

It’s different now.

Tooru can easily lift you off your feet when he hugs you and he loves doing it just to beam proudly when you compliment how tall he’s grown.

Hajime hugs you with silent affection, enveloping you securely like a warm coat in winter while curling forwards so you can ruffle his hair.  

It’s different and you are grateful.  

\-------

You start noticing little things.

The unconscious touches. Lingering looks. Stolen glances as they apart.

You think nothing at first because they are always close till you find your boy looking fazed after the other leaves, lost in thought at dinner, looking confused as he chews his chopsticks before he smiles or sighs despite himself.

You remember seeing your classmates being the same in high school, when they were gushing about their crushes, giggling with blushes. You remember _yourself_ being the same.

The first thing comes to your mind isn’t how you’ve thought of this day coming, thought of what you could talk with your boy about first loves, laughing about his very likely embarrassment.

The first thing comes to your mind is the tone of Mrs. Hanada mentioning a neighbor’s kid’s sexuality, the uncomfortable and disapproving looks on her audience's faces. You remember hearing the story later, about the boy being bullied, about the family falling apart before moving away, hoping their name would be forgotten.

You are suddenly scared.

It still feels like yesterday when you vow to yourself to protect him forever.

You are scared that you couldn't.

You try to ask and Hajime looks startled when you do.

“ _Is...is anything wrong?_ ”

You shake your head, having problem finding the words. You tell him you’re just worried for nothing.

He gives you a smile at that before emptying his tea.

“ _Don’t worried, mom. Oikawa and I...we are fine._ ”

You take in the strain in his smile.

It takes longer for you to register the uncomfortable heat from the tea you’re holding.

  
\-------

  
Somewhere along the line you see it coming but you can never prepare for it to happen.

The day has started normal. The only occasion is that you haven’t seen your boy for months.

School and volleyball have taken most of their time though Hajime would always spare some to call you every one or two days. More often than not Tooru would be on the other end as well, greeting you with his usual cheerfulness and an update of yet another embarrassing story that Hajime fails to tell you.

The weekend would have been the same if a member of the family hasn’t had a wedding.

Hajime has come home to attend the wedding with you since your husband can’t make it. You’ve told him it’s okay to bring a plus-one or even bring Tooru but he comes alone.

It’s all right because you get to see your boy after so long and you feel the pride of seeing how fine he looks in suits, all grown-up and tall and smile still gentle as he lets you fix his tie because he never really bothers to make it right.

The wedding is beautiful and so does the bride. The girl who used to call you auntie with her smile and braces has grown so big, confident and happy because she’s in love and well-loved with her hand held securely in her husband’s.

Hajime is there when you greet the newlywed couple but is gone when you greet the parents. You don’t blame him as you smile and brush off another question much alike the ten or _twenty-one_ questions before it.

“ _When is Hajime’s turn?_ ”

In all honesty, your boy is only twenty-one and yet graduates from college, it might concern you more if he told you he’s getting married.

There’s a part of you still take him as the baby boy holding your hand to remain balance while you stroll around the park. You remember your chest feeling full with contentment. You remember not wanting to let go and learning later on to do so. It's that similar feeling (and so so different) when you picture him down the aisle holding his wife’s hand. It doesn't stop you from teasing him on the way back home though, asking when will he bring a girl back home and announce he’s getting married.

You don’t expect him to fall silent after that. All the way home and during dinner.

You never expect him to break down, either.

It feels like hours before you are able to register his words, through tears and wobbling voice. A _guilt-driven_ message.

“ _I am sorry._ ”

“ _I am sorry I lied._ ”

“ _I am sorry I fell in love with the wrong person._ ”

" _And I am sorry I can't stop loving him._ "

(" _I tried but I never wanted to._ ")

You hug him tight because words fail you again and something breaks inside you as you notice how _small_ he shrinks himself in your arms.

He tells you everything, his confusion, realization, his struggle and fear. Fear of being rejected, of disappointing and being ashamed of.

He fears you’d stop loving him.

It’s ridiculous and you scold him for that, but your tone is gentle and your hands holding him gentler.

Later that night, you call Tooru. You tell him Hajime needs him.

  
\-------

Tooru is there before sun rises.

You let him in and watch him disappear behind the door to Hajime’s room.

  
\-------

You mean to make them breakfast but they beat you to it. Or more like Tooru does.

You enter the kitchen seeing Tooru having had the miso soup cooking on the stove while he fries the eggs. Hajime sits at the dining table talking quietly to Tooru.

Tooru notices you first and greets you with a small smile. It takes five more seconds and one look at Tooru, who returns with an encouraging nod, before Hajime manages to catch your eyes.

“ _Good morning, mom. We, um, Tooru made you breakfast._ ”

Tooru laughs, softer than you remember, as he attends to his unfinished cooking.

“ _Hajime cooks rice_.”

Hajime stands up at the remarks, quickly setting the table and filling everyone’s bowl with rice. Tooru finishes the eggs and places it beside the fish.

The breakfast goes nearly as usual, you eating slow and they fast. Hajime finishes first and drinks two more soups so he could have something to do.

You put down your bowl when you finish and note how Hajime shift in his seat, playing with his thumbs as he does when he’s nervous.

You ask if Hajime could go buy some soy sauce from the supermarket down the street. You all know it’s an excuse to speak to Tooru alone.

Tooru tense as the request, the first real indication of uncertainty since he showed up at your doorstep. You don’t question it much because you know Tooru has always been better at keeping his feelings than Hajime ever does.

You also know how strong he can be when he deems Hajime needs him to be.

You offer Tooru a smile as you hear the front door click shut.

“ _Auntie-_ ”

It’s a rare sight to see Tooru struggle with words. It isn’t rare to see him refuse to give up on expressing himself. 

You beat him to it this time because you never need words from him to know how much he cares.

You ask him for three things.

You ask him to take care of your boy.

You ask him to take care of himself.

And because the world is cruel in so many ways, you ask him to be brave.

Hajime comes back to see Tooru hugging you and crying. He looks worried as Tooru excuses himself and heads to the bathroom.

Hajime looks guilty again, like he wants to go comfort his friend (or already lover) but is afraid it’d upset you.

You stretch your arms to him and he moves to hug you (bending down so you could ruffle his hair.)

You feel him relaxed as he rests his head against your shoulder, like he did when he’s still a baby, cradled in your arms and leaning into you, feeling safe.

You pat his head.

  
\------

_Don’t say sorry for something this simple that makes you happy._

(You’d say a thousand time till he understands.)

  
\-------

It’s like everything finally falling into places.

The touches, the looks, the desire to be closer and together are still the same.

They never flaunt it but share it like a secret. It’s subtle and quiet but so easy to spot.

You remember how their friends once called them in sync on the court. It’s something you don’t quite understand as you watch the ball fly in the sky and get slammed into the floor.

You understand other things though.

You understand the smiles bloom on their faces when they catch each other’s eyes. You understand the hand reaching out being caught by another waiting one. You understand the stubbornness they are born into and the will to relent for each other. You understand the desire to stay together forever and the strength to make it happen.

You understand love.

  
\-------

 _Hajime_ and _Tooru_.

It’s simple like that.

  
\-------

_Don’t say sorry for something this simple that makes you happy._

 

 

 

(You’re happy he understood.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is many things I've wanted to try in one. I really hope you like it. Maybe leave a comment and let me know what you think.ヾ(´ε`ヾ)
> 
> Come and bombard me with iwaoi feelings!  
> tumblr: aunnoo.tumblr.com (hc side blog: aunnoo-iwaoi-headcanon.tumblr.com)


End file.
